Popping the question

As explained in the last post we met on the internet. So after chatting for a while on Skype and by email, Natasha invited me to Holland to meet up. Why Holland? Well in Holland, there is a Christian Charitable organisation who, invite Ukrainian children from disadvantaged backgrounds to Holland for eight weeks. They take the children to different attractions and generally give them a very nice and elongated holiday. Since Natasha can speak some Dutch and has a background in teaching and working with children, they have invited her as well as teacher / translator / child-minder.
So I flew to Holland for four days to meet up. It was strange meeting up because real life is different to the internet. But we both got on very well. I stayed with the same host family as Natasha (wonderful people) and even got to help a bit in the school. I had an amazing time which I will never forget. Coming back from Holland was quite difficult because by now, my feelings were all over the place. I started praying and fasting about whether she is “the one”.
Natasha really enjoyed the meeting also. She was still unsure if I was the one but she got to see me, something which strengthened her resolve to carry on with the relationship. Our letters to each other became more and more serious. Natasha then invited me to a Christian Bible Summer Camp in Ukraine, an invitation which I accepted.
The summer camp was fantastic. We got to spend a whole week together and talk about each other’s expectations. I fell more and more in love with her and now was really sure about my intentions towards her. We got to spend time in different Ukrainian settings like the Ukrainian trains (which are quite an experience), with her family, my favourite Ukrainian restaurant “Puzata Hata” (which means Fat House), etc.
Returning to the UK after that summer holiday was once again quite hard, because by now my feelings towards Natasha were quite strong and so I really wanted the whole process to just go by a bit quicker. So as soon as I was back, I promptly bought myself some tickets to Ukraine for that coming Christmas period. I could not wait. But this time I actually bought the ring as well. I was going to propose, but how I did not know.
When I got to Ukraine, I promptly arranged a short discussion with Natasha’s parent about my intentions. I told them that I had the ring and that I wanted to ask her in marriage. They were very good about it. They asked me a few questions and when they saw that I was serious, we got on our knees and prayed, they blessed me and said “OK, you can ask her”. I came out of the meeting and drank about a litre of water after which I felt a bit better.
Now, I always carried the ring with me whilst in Ukraine that Christmas. I was not going to miss an opportunity to pop the question, but not many opportunities were presenting themselves. We went to a restaurant but the noise and the set-up was not very romantic. We went to the cinema, but the film was in Ukrainian and I just sat there watching Natasha laughing her head off whilst I kept asking her – “what did they say?”.
Finally I had a plan. Natasha is very fond of her family. She loves spending time with her family, so I made sure that all members of the family are round for the Christmas meal. During the meal after having something to eat, I got on one knee, in front of her family and asked Natasha to marry me. She got all red on her face, the silence was defining, and then she said “Yes”. I was very happy to the point that I did not know on what finger the ring should go. The other reason I proposed on Christmas day is because Natasha means “Christmas child” or “Christmas gift”, so that made it a little bit more special for the both of us. And that’s it for this post.
Next post will be about the events leading up to the registration of our marriage with the ZAGS (Ukrainian civil office / registrar) and some other funny mishaps.

The Moral of the story

International marriages cost money, time and nerves. It is not easy to love someone who is far away. You will have to be sure about it and go through the process. You must meet at least a few times before making the final decision just to be sure. Also, respect the parents and the traditions of Ukraine (or any other country for that matter) as much as you can. But the most important thing is that as soon as you feel the relationship has any potential, the both of you are to save all forms of correspondence. Things like Skype conversations, Emails, Phone bills, Plane tickets, Love letters, Photos of you together (with family and friends in the photos with you if possible) etc. Every single small proof of your relationship will prove very helpful later on in the process when it comes to the visa application. For British nationals, we get a stamp in our passport every time we go to Ukraine, that helps too. Keep all evidence of your relationship and make sure there is enough of it, at least something for every week or at least month.